.all over again.

i duno why im being weird tonite.but i juz had a hot cup of coffee with oreo wafer sticks just now.bocz i am supposed to be feeling lethargic afta a hard day at werk.bcoz i am supposed to be sleeping oreadi now instead of writin a bloody entry at 12.08a.m.haha.and,mind you.i am not sick in the mind ok,gler.at least,not yet.nyehehe.


anyways.i have many things cumin up tis week.like going out with farah&eqa on wed.like lukin ferwerd to bob treating us tis sat.and like preparing fer my orientation camp nxt week.in which im nt so much as lukin ferwerd to.i mean,a 3day-2nite camp?been awhile since i last went fer a camp.and the onli other camps i've been to are the npcc ones.where discipline applies everywhere we go.where i dun bring a lot of clothes bcoz the onli ones needed are our pt attires.where i dun bathe fer three days(ok,i do shampoo my hair.).and where we have real fun despite the discipline we hav to b in.ok,yes.i do miss the good old npcc times.aww~and afta almost a yr,i have to start feelin enthu all over again.i mean,we are supposed to b enthu durin camps rite?hmm.a gd thang i hav kiki.


well.i did just say a few days ago that i am going to tender my resignation.bt,truth to speak,i feel pity fer leaving that place.i mean,with the very reliable crew gone,it's onli left with me. and if i too resign,who the hell is going to take over our places?new staff?it takes awhile to train them.it's bad enuf dat its hard to find staff at our place.haiya.i noe.i noe i wun earn much by werkin onli 6-8hrs once every one or two weeks.i dunolah.just hav to see how the first few weeks go.oh,yes.curse me all you want.i did contradict myself again.like i always do.sum thangs just dun change eyy.always contardicting.hah.but wat to do.i hav a strong sense of empathy.hmm.mcm phm jek.hehx.


he's gone again.fer another week.leaving the family again.and will b going back and forth fer i duno how long.im not actoali close to him in any way,though we used to b when i was a lil kid.but,im begining to miss his presence.i miss him.i miss us being together,as a family.and it makes me sad tinkin bout it.i noe he's tryin to find a better income fer us.i just hope he noes wat he's doing.bcoz,now i can onli see him like once every week or so.can you be dere if sumtin happens to any of us?wil you one day b too engrossed with ur werk and perhaps ferget bout us?oh,shucks.this is stupid.hw can i b so pessimistic?i just miss you,ayah.so much.gawd,these tears.they are falling again.stop it.stop it.


as fer my relationship.the imminent difficulties.its cumin again.its happening all over again.but,this time.im ready fer it.juz dun want anyting to cum btween us or werse,jeoperdise this relationship.and btw,its onli fer a mth or so rite?surely i can handle this?haha.yes.i can do this.fer me.fer him.fer us.


i noe its a lil bit late.but happy april fools day.haha.reminds me of nicholas.this is actoali the firz time ever(if i remember) that april fools falls on a sunday.if not,nicholas will b all ready with wataver that can surely fool everyone off,in a lame way.haha.those times.i want to press replay can?oh,crap.im done here.bye seme!