memyself&mie

.let it go.

2009-08-30T02:27:00.002+08:00

its been too long.i need a change.i need to move on.

i'm starting on a fresh page.

oh,star.

.miss you.

2009-08-28T04:30:00.003+08:00

you know everytime i go out alone and i see other couples being happy or having an argument?thats when i miss you more than i ever have.

i miss you,so much.

.to you.

2009-08-24T15:56:00.001+08:00

i want to watch The Time Traveler's Wife on the 3rd of Sept.

:)

.love.

2009-08-18T01:09:00.002+08:00

credits: http://soleirolia.livejournal.com/

.walk away.

2009-08-04T01:45:00.005+08:00

i feel like letting my hair down and dance the night away.

i feel like i don't want to have a care in the world at all.i feel like i want to stop caring,and stop doing things for people.

i feel like i want to stop fighting and stop hoping.

i want to walk away.that's what i really feel like i want to do.

walk away.

.feeling good.

2009-08-02T12:18:00.003+08:00

Udders with the boys yesterday was awesome!how come i never get to do this in yr 1?great hideouts,good music and most importantly, the awesome-est ice cream lah.

at loft now.feels like booking one with the girlfriends and have a girls' night in woo!

ok,back to pr bye!

.of all the wrong things.

2009-07-31T10:23:00.003+08:00

my class started at 10am just now.i woke up at 9.50am.i actually do feel the inability to wake up early in the morning quite disturbing.maybe its because i suddenly find that coming 1/2 hr to 45mins late to classes is actually fine.

daddy just got home.still with his crutches.

i feel very very exhausted right now.i have to rush for some assignments later and i still have a test to study.oh,blardy IS.been hell the past few weeks,will still be till at least next week.i need a break.damn,i really deserve a break.

my hair's a mess.my face's pecah-ed and my clothes are running out of fashion.

i would really love to stare at random people for no reason and see their reaction.

im off.to find myself a proper breakfast.

.zombie.

2009-07-19T01:39:00.002+08:00

had my event just now.
PITCH'09 was a-ok.i think it kinda went smoothly.
now im supposed to do contact report and draft out post event press release.
but i just woke up over an hr ago.cos i slept from 6pm till midnight.
my head hurts now.but flu is gone now woo!
been sick half of the week but i refused to stay home cos i have a lot of important things to do.now,lets hope i don't get sick again tml.

and tml's the day.i am still feeling stoned now so im not really that nervous yet.i haven't even packed my stuff i hope i don't leave anything behind.thought of bringing my SLR but nah,too much of a hassle i feel.can't wait for tml to be over.been taking up too much of my time.

yeah,did i tell you i hardly have a life nowadays.all the time im on the Mac i'm rushing for my assignments.i don't even have time to socialise now!tsk.

ok.my head's really hurting.and im really really hungry.i want to sleep.

but i'm finally going out with the love tml can't wait!been waiting for it since ages ago.i haven't been spending much time with him lately and i feel bad lah.

ok lah bye.

.heaven.

2009-07-15T15:40:00.002+08:00

im meeting my boyfriend today after 654357998days woo!

but maybe for awhile only.im feeling sicker now.i think im gonna run a fever soon.

:/

ok,bye.

.personal space.

2009-07-01T23:10:00.005+08:00

i tell you something.i hate and i really hate going home during the peak hours. there will always be inconsiderate selfish people in the bus.like,hello i know you want a seat and will grab at any opportunity to get a seat when you see one.you would even wait near the seating area of the bus just so you can sit at the first person who gave up the seat to alight.

nabey.

like just now.the bus was getting packed so i squeezed in at the standing part of the bus.behind me is a couple.and then suddenly this auntie don't know from where come just squeeze in in front of me and put her hand on the pole and her arm is literally across my chest.like you know,like you have someone standing in front of you and they have to stretch across to hold on to the pole, like that ah.

nabey.

these old aunties don't know such thing as personal space isit?!if bangla sit next to you,you give that disgusted face to them.you want seat,you want a comfortable position to stand on you don't care if that person is squeezed and just inches away from you ah?!

nabey.

at last,the person beside me alighted and i moved to his position.i rolled my eyes lah.wahlao.and then that auntie and her friend so excited see people who were sitting alighting and then faster faster rush to sit.nabey.kalo dah kiasu tu kiasu jgaklah.kalo dah auntie tu auntie jgaklah.perangai anjing.

done.now i need to settle a lot of stuff.and there's no lessons tml yey!
ok,bye.

.all i ever wanted.

2009-06-27T10:28:00.005+08:00

good morning.its a saturday and im here in school waiting for other groupmates to reach to discuss PR. i think i have no life.because when im out its usually to school meetings, work or dikir trainings.mundane much.

i think my dad's talking to me again.since i stayed home the whole day yesterday.and i think some things are getting better when i thought its turning for the worse.and i am actually pretty fine with it.

the weather's getting dark.oh,such a nice weather to sleep in.i am craving for a great many food.i want to do something to my hair cos it is starting to make me look ugly.

the boyf's gone to ubin for some camp.wonder why it felt like a week when its only for a couple of days.he wants me to go for eyelash extension and eyebrow threading.and i said i'll only do it if he'll pay for it.he said he will.mampus.i think i pretty much like the way my eyes look now.if i go for these things, i become too pretty how?later all the mats and banglas want my number.tsk.

ok,bye.

.breathe slow.

2009-06-02T00:37:00.002+08:00

they say in life, things change people move on.they say, you have to adapt to the change not the change adapt to you.and they will always say, life goes on.

but what if all change is happening at too short a period of time?what if im struggling to adapt to everything at once?when everyone else is moving on and i am still stuck here?

i don't have the strength anymore to see more change.to witness episod after episod of event happening.im tired of seeing people leave, to make do with whats left and to start anew.

because for once,i want to be the one to leave behind everything, to move on.i want to see how they'll do without me.i want to be the change that i want to be.

i feel like crying.i wonder why.when its someone else who's leaving,its someone else who's forced to leave, its someone else who's heartbroken.

i need to breath slow.i need to close my eyes and drown in my fantasies.before i open my eyes and come back to reality.

the bitter reality of life.

.new moon.

2009-06-01T16:01:00.005+08:00

ok.i don't know if anyone has watched this but i don't care i damn excited already.this is probably much better than Twilight.and jacob,omg.he looks so damn hot!im melting already lah.although i have to admit i was laughing when he changed to a wolf.looks funny haha.

great, now i can't wait for the movie to come out.
:DD

.almost.

2009-05-30T22:31:00.001+08:00

i feel so ugly when i reached home i asked iman to chop off my hair.
now i feel lighter. :DD

but.my fringe sucks.:((

but nehmind.at least i feel better now.
:)

.morning.

2009-05-20T10:17:00.002+08:00

i am craving for nasi lemak right now.but im very very lazy to go out.

haha.

i love my boyfriend because he surprised me with Eclipse its not like him to surprise me with things like that haha.

hungry.hungry.

am very very itchy to go out and snap snap pictures.
i want a new SLR faster can? :(

i am seriously craving for nasi lemak now.to go out or not to go out?

i am super broke like broke giler babi nak mampus.but im hitting a couple of fleas in weeks to come haha.anyone wanna join? :)

am sick of my clothes.i want new ones and and accessories god like when was the last time i bought them?

ok,want go check what's in the kitchen.
hungry.hungry.

.blueberry nights.

2009-05-04T23:58:00.002+08:00

this post is going to be very very short.

because i have lecture tomorrow at 8 in the morning.
!#$%^&*#@

don't know if can wake up or not.
i seriously feel like pon-ing but good ol' kiki reminded me not to.

i should be sleeping soon but i just finished Twilight and am really tempted to start on New Moon.and fuck,Twilight is so much like a love story i had some adjusting to do cos its been ages since i last read a romance themed book.no wonder bestf fell in love.E was damn hot in the book!

before i went home just now, ate and chilled at cheers with kiki,fahmi and amirr.i have to admit with the newly year ones coming in,im starting to miss my year three people.like seriously,where were those times we all used to hang out together?

and then when i reached home,there's mcdonalds.-.- you tell me lah how to control my diet like this.alas,i had half a mcspicy and fries.

tomorrow lecture at 8a.m.
haish times infinity lah.

oklah.this is supposed to be a short post right.
i think im gonna start on New Moon lah.
bye lah bye lah.

and she said,'if we're meant to be,we're meant to be'.

.love you too.

2009-04-22T00:06:00.003+08:00

hello.its like past midnight and i just woke up half an hour ago.damn shagged as soon as reach home from school at 7.30 just now.didn't realise i slept till almost midnight sia haha.

anwww,first and second day of school was ok.had been excused for both days since we had performance.and then this morn had lectures for massina and medlaw.ok,i think my eyes feels swollen now.ouch ouch.anw,im thinking these two lectures will be getting dry in weeks to come oh well.and i just checked on PR on mel,now i feel lost.mati ahhhh.ending school at 10pm tml.kinda looking forward for photojourn but not really at the same time haha.

this sem's timetable is a bit f-ed up actually.makes it hard for me to work sia.nehmind,i'll squeeze in time somewhere.

*stares blankly at screen*

oklah,thats it for now.ok,bye.
(sumpah aku stuck tak tau nk tulis ape.)

.same old same old.

2009-04-16T15:59:00.002+08:00

i am basically screwed.i walked into Popular and came out with two books in hand.Twilight and New Moon.yes,tell me about it lah.i used to be the one teasing bestf about being a Twilight geek.and now,here i am owning two of the series.well,i did promise myself once i'm done with Time Traveller's Wife i'll start with them.just so happens,they are having 20% off all Twilight series.if i wasn't as broke i swear i would have bought all four books.haha!

so,now i am basically screwed because i'm only left with a little to spend on what with the boyf's presents,mummy's as well.school's starting next week.year 3 year 3.same old same old.maybe i could fast some days and save a little haha.

ok,im gonna catch up on Bones for now.and then start on Twilight.eggciting!plus having soccer session with the sb-rc people later evening.if i really forget how to kick ball,then i'll just sit and cheer them on macam minah tak tau main bola tp nk cheer untk matair haha!

.miracle.

2009-04-06T02:00:00.003+08:00

i've said it before.we can't always hope for a miracle.because sometimes it just doesn't happen,no matter how hard we try to work towards it.as much as i wanted to say that im relieved and felt a pinch of freedom,i am actually very disappointed.thinking back,i now feel like crying.its not about the effort or money wasted.a lot of people had faith in us.and we disappoint them.

but,its ok.no use pondering over what if's.we are starting from scratch.of course we have to go through setbacks.this is just a small one.i know one day,we'll be high up there.

to Paduka,congratulations.its time guys.i'm so proud of you.

.fallin'.

2009-03-30T01:53:00.004+08:00

so i haven't been writing a lot have i.i have been busy with life itself.enjoying most of it and not so enjoying the little parts of it.for the most part, i've been indulging myself in Bones(no,nt sappy korean dramas thank god), trainings(competition's just arnd the corner.sigh.), work, meeting up the usuals and a little love with the boyfriend. life's preety much ok for now.just a little twists and turns here and there.i'll be fine,really.i'll b gone for awhile now.just don't miss me too much,eyy.

tell me,what i really should know now
cos i can't sleep thru the pain
thinkin' of the obvious

.an unlikely story.

2009-03-14T00:29:00.003+08:00

currently listening to The Sally's, An Unlikely Story.am a happy happy girl cos i finally located Straits Records at Jln Kubor and bought the album.and their hidden track is haha!i have nothing to say.

i know.there is no way i can turn back time and hope for things to be like how it used to.because things have changed.so,i move on.in the long run,things either become worse or better.what i do now is,i try to save, pick up whatever remains i can and have left and be contented with whatever's left for me.one thing i am sure of though.nasi tak pernah jadi bubur.because when that happens,then that's when this ends.

the Nyahs end.

--

have you ever went through this phase where you know that person won't be calling you back and you know you shouldn't be waiting but you still hang on and wait anyway?because despite knowing, you still had this sliver of hope that person would call you back.then you think you're being silly.but.you still wait anyway.

if having high hopes kill, then isn't not having any impossible at all?

your love brightens my dimmest light
makes my heart beat faster than before
and as days passed i'm gonna love you more
i promise.

.laughing gas.

2009-03-07T23:24:00.003+08:00

wednesday was a date with the three girls since feeqs couldn't make it.me and bestf met earlier i don't know why and wasted time waiting for the other two to reach bugis.

and so then both reached and we were famished so dined in at tong seng talked talked a lot of stuff i think the whole coffeeshop knows about our misery.were wondering what to do after so i suggested a movie then since its nt yet 5p.m. and we could get student price tickets but too bad cos the cathay ain't got any good movies to watch so we headed to p.s and settled in with he's just not into you, something we made fiza watch for the second time haha. we got some time to kill so accompanied mel for some ciggies outside. before that,we had some toilet scenes though.

outside p.s wasting time.again.

inside theatre waiting for the movie to start.

how was the movie?good if you love chick flicks and watch it with your super girlfriends.bad if you're not a fan of dumb blonde chick flicks and when you have gay people sitting beside you in the theatre giggling away.but i have to say,the movie was a good insight to what a guy really thinks.

bus ride home was exceptionally interesting and hilarious.especially since it's farah's first ride home from town in a bus haha!

ok,dah bye.

.wonderful.

2009-03-04T00:01:00.001+08:00

we won.hands down.
=)

tutup tirai timbul tengkara
selisih faham hendak sampai bila

.moondance.

2009-02-22T01:45:00.003+08:00

hello been a while huh don't worry i've stopped running i hope for now.read their posts and i think to myself wow they are really stressed out over studying they blogged like every night because on normal days they don't.interesting though since i haven't been checking things out and really what surprising stuff i get like the desporado, the spastic, the panic and so on.

yesterday,i left the house at 7a.m. and only came back at 12.30a.m.friday's paper was manageable don't wanna be too confident of it later fail i die.trainings are really getting to me,traveling to the other end shouting singing clapping waiting its really tiring me out.and i still have so many more things to think and worry about.definitely no much needed rest this holiday.

oh,yes.as you can see from the picture.i have gained weight.people have been telling me that so frequently i began to lose all my sense of reaction.because i can't have self denial and whine over their remarks because it is true i have gained weight.i can't totally snap at their remarks as well cos that'll only make me sound defensive.so,now most times i'll just say ok or yah,i know.cos its half half like that.

and please,enough of your nonsense.just until when will you realise that people have seen through your contradictions?its not working anymore.you're just making yourself sound more pathetic than ever before.

its 2am.no wonder i was ranting unnecessary stuff.i have one last paper on tuesday i have yet to study i don't plan to do so probably will start when i wake up in the morning.i am supposed to be sleeping already by now.pfft.

ok,ok goodnight all.
love yourself first,then others will love you.

HAHA.
mampus.what an aphorism.

.stop.

2009-02-09T03:08:00.003+08:00

oh,no we are still not ok.so quit asking what happened,why it ended this way,what i did wrong,what i should have done.because i too don't know.i really don't know what to do anymore.

its really eating me out.i kept distracting myself i busied myself i ran away from it,from everything.i don't confide in anyone anymore if i did they just happened to be there.even so,they don't even know everything that happened.so i guess i'm becoming my old self back.the one who kept things to herself,suffering and hurting alone.

oh,really please quit asking what really happened.don't make me think about it.its really eating me out.

im still running.
and i don't know when i'll be coming back
or if i'll ever come back.

.i'll run.

2009-02-06T00:24:00.003+08:00

i wanna run away.
don't come find me.

i'll come back soon.

just like the alcohol that's making my head spin.

.unbeautiful.

2009-02-05T02:44:00.003+08:00

you know before we got together, we had this on off thing going on between us. we weren't dating we were just friends then though i knew both of us had something for each other.there was one time we went on without contacting each other for two weeks.i really thought it was over.until he texted me.from then on,i know that we had this bond.which makes us inseparable.

now,i'm not really sure anymore.

.take my hand.

2009-01-28T00:43:00.003+08:00

because i believe in life you will meet one person who you wish you could spend the rest of your life with but because of how your lives are, both of you will never be meant to be together.

just in case ur wondering, i am going on fine with yazid.we are going on three years now.since i haven't been writing about a lot of things anymore.life's been going on pretty fine for me.i don't hope anymore.i just live life as it is.

--

because high hopes kill me
a little makes me want more
oh,don't you dare tell me
its only another one night stand

because i feel you like you feel me
we know its so much more than that
and we both know too
we're never meant to be

but,my part time lover
if it only meant i can get closer to you like this
i'd gladly have these one night stands.

.wants.

2009-01-20T13:03:00.004+08:00

i wanna have this one pretty please.can any kind soul buy me one?
oh,and a brown one at that too.been eyeing this stuff for quite a while now.

:DDD

oh,if not that this one above is quite a baby for me too.heehee.

_

omg.i have like so many bags already.and i just can't get enough.well,you can't blame a girl when she just has fetish for bags and shoes right?

:)

.wednesday.

2009-01-14T16:11:00.002+08:00

i am very very very bored right now.like really really very bored right now.having a debate regarding pornography in comiss class right now.my group's motion's over(violence) now its the other half other class's turn.

the day started out pretty badly but its ok cos i didnt see anyone i know this morning.and it kinda got pretty better after the crappy chat with B.and im dressed up like so...sopan today.like,really really...sopan.and that's only because i have to attend to something later.

im suddenly craving for popeye's chicken and biscuits now.i don't care how unhealthy those stuff are.i just need some ~~finger-lickin~~ fatty fatty indulgence.

and i miss work.just a month more before school's over yey!and i can work my ass off.that is if i can get the shifts i want.

yes.im bored.what,you think i have all the time in the world to blog about random stuff?im trying to shut myself out from whatever's my classmates are crapping about.

*yawns*

i can't wait for the day to be over.looking forward to tml.retail therapy much needed.

ok,bye.

.you.

2009-01-09T23:13:00.003+08:00

there are many ways people do to deal with their problems.some run away from them.some try to distract themselves by doing a million other things.while some others..well,they just shut themselves from everyone else and keep to themselves.what they don't realise though is that not only do they get hurt, the people closest to them get hurt too.

but maybe we might not even know what's going on at all.maybe it's just us thinking too much,being paranoid.maybe its just because they needed to get away from the world for a while.when they are ready,they'll come back.

so. what do we till then?do we sit around and wait for them to come back to us?or do we get angry?cos we've been treated like some piece of tissue paper?

what do we do,exactly?

.girlfriend instinct.

2009-01-06T09:51:00.002+08:00

i really had a strong feeling about it.
and,well it did came true.
girlfriend instinct i suppose.
still felt like a dream though.
but oh well i am looking forward to more of these in time to come.
:)

.goodbye.

2008-12-31T21:18:00.004+08:00

2008.

a year full of ups and downs,high and low drama,emotional breakdowns and outbursts,backstabbing,gossiping,loving and hating and living life as it is.
as cliche as it sounds,well it is true.2008 is by far the most exciting ride of my life and i've never regretted any single one of it.i've grown a lot,i've learnt a lot about life especially and people too.too much i can't even remember how january started twelve months ago.i was given many opportunities.i was lonely i was depressed i was scared i was angry i was everything.but i was happy i was contented i was in love i was exhilarated i was everything else as well.

because i've learnt that life ain't that bad.you just have to look at the brighter,better side in life amidst the catastrophe of the ugly evil cruel life.

i made a lot of mistakes too.and i do admit i repeated them over again.but i did try to change for the better.the things that happened for the better or worse,the people that left for the better of worse and everything that ended up for the better or worse i know and i've come to accept that it's all part and parcel of life.i wasnt a good daughter/bestfriend/friend/girlfriend/sister/person.i've done many more sinful things that any of you can imagine bt i know this is just the start.i still love myself though.even after having had lowest points in life.

2008.
fantastic.heartbreaking.dramatic.

2009.

i wish i could fly away and be free from all of life's commitments and responsibilities.but,there would be no point in living then.no promises no resolutions because i know they are useless anyway.i'm not saying i'm not looking forward to this year.i'm just living life day to day.time really is moving very fast.2008 i will keep it deep inside my heart,2009 i will create more because i am not getting any younger.i am excited though to see more drama,to experience wilder adventures maybe go on a holiday with my friends or maybe lose my virginity or maybe even start smoking haha ok just kidding.but there's only one thing i hope of 2009.i hope that it'll be less emotional and there'll be less heartpain.because i've gone through too much.

still,that's life.
you just have to learn to fuck it.
:)

.falling out.

2008-12-24T00:00:00.003+08:00

i don't usually cry when i wake up in the morning.
but when i do
it usually means i haven't been able to tuck away whatever emotional turmoil i had the night before safely.

yest morning was one of those unusual ones.

so tell me.
do i tell you or do i just keep it to myself?

.jelita.

2008-12-20T02:49:00.002+08:00

i seriously am beginning to think i have insomnia.its 3a.m. btw.but i decide to think not again because i don't feel sleepy at all in the day.i told mummy this and she told me if you have insomnia then you must be depressed.ok,i am really starting to think its not insomnia again.omg.i think i need to start taking sleeping pills but then i'll become resistant to it after a long while.oh,god.why am i not feeling sleepy yet?im not even yawning!omg.

im going away next week.just somewhere away from here.away from all responsibilities.away from all commitments.away from everything that needs my attention.i'll come back.with a fresh mind.and a fresh start to the new year.

toodles.

*hops away and sings*
a milli a milli a milli a milli

si jelita,siapakah dirimu?

.last night.

2008-12-14T00:50:00.002+08:00

its been a long while.yet,i can't run away.the feeling's still there.

i have been sleeping very late everytime the weekends kick in.i'm starting to think its insomnia but i think again not because i don't feel too lethargic or sleepy during the day maybe i do just that i keep telling myself it ain't that bad.

i look very ugly now.dark circles, acne&pimples,damaged hair and a very fucked up face.i just finished battling with the ass-shit-ments which lasted for weeks.i'm still holding on.still surviving despite what i've been put through.if i don't succeed after this,i am seriously considering a career in the teaching line.and then again,these are only thoughts at one in the morning.

and speaking of which reminds me of my one a.m. syndrome friend.everytime we're chatting after one, he'll become very,very,very blur.some say he likes to talk crap.wonder why i enjoy chatting with him for hours at end.maybe because i like to talk crappy too.

bf's going to Pahang and my favourite girl's off to Hongkong.i want to work a lot the coming week.yes,thats my idea of de-stressing during term break.i want to shop for cheap,cheap clothes and accessories.i want to get us matching bags,t-shirts and many other things a female and a male can wear together.i love my bestfriend.because she just makes my life more the worth living for.

i am planning to start saving for the future.i really aim to set time aside to go jogging every morning.these are not resolutions they are just things i want to do once January kicks in.i long gave up on resolutions after unsuccessfully trying to start exercising two years ago.

more than ever,i want to be a better person.i want to slow down and look at the smaller details to life.

because i like you so much better when you're naked.

.hanya kau yang mampu.

2008-11-19T23:31:00.003+08:00

i'll be away for now.

i'll be back soon enough.

till then,goodbye.

because sometimes its better to say nothing than something at all.

.fishi-ly legal.

2008-11-10T18:17:00.007+08:00

I AM EIGHTEEN.
finally!
(ok,i know that was like two weeks ago but i've yet to blog about any celebrations whatttt.)

so.last friday was a fish date with the bestfriend.no,no.we didnt dine at fish&co. instead, we went to guess where?

got it yet?
no?

we went here lah..

The Manhattan Fish Market!

yey!
-.-""

we took quite a while to decide what to eat.and then when farah asked me what i wanted,i gave her two choices.i just told her to say whatever that comes out of her mouth.haha.finished ordering.and then its time for...

SELF-TIMER TIME!

ok,dah.our food then finally arrived.

farah's fish&chips

and mine was the catch of the day with flame grilled prawns thingy.

and i thought that i'll be eating fish and real flamed prawns.haha.

so exciting!it was very sedap you know.

managed to finish our food.asked for the bill and farah die die won't let me even get a sneak peek at it.she had to withdraw money since they don't accept NETS.and trust her to leave me with the bill alone haha so convinced that i won't even peep at it.

thought of watching a movie after that.but,no movie caught my attention and the queue was long. sape mau layan dok.camwhored again at the ladies.

this is so ridiculous lor.last two years, i used to be slimmer and farah fatter.now,its the other way round.you tell me lah,fair anot?

after which,we settled in at starbucks.because,yes we did have a lot of things to catch up.talked here,talked there.and then talk again.and then.she gave me a second present lah sey!hehe.take picture here and there again.and,finally we went home.the end.now the rest of the pictures will do the talking.

icetoffeenutlatteraspberryjavachipcreamandchoclavacake

tempting enough?no?

what about this?mmmm.....

you know,if we could lick the plate we would.

crushing ice
(this girl ah you put her in one room with one big box of ice also she can survive one)

see lah the face.so happy like just won 4D like that.

scrunched up.

The Bestfriends

ok,dah.
bye.

.superhuman.

2008-11-08T03:04:00.002+08:00

three in the morning.

--

i've been keeping mum.i sit back and i listen to everything around me.and i observe.oh,i do observe.and i see many things.things some others fail to recognise.i kept quiet because i don't want to start having hatred.and then i start to evaluate.trying to figure out exactly the reason why.i look at you and i know what you're going through.

you never listen you know.you'll never listen.perhaps thats why things happen.but,my dear.if you're really happy with what you have now,then good for you.i only have one question to ask of you.

why did you do it?

but of course,that would lead to a great many questions and i don't know if i want to hear that.haha.funny because its like hearing another repeat of a season.

--

twenty minutes past three.

--

what about me?oh,im living life as it is.no expectations for now.maybe because i'm scared.people tell me i can do this and that.but i don't think i can.i don't know why.i don't think i can achieve anything anymore.haha.funny because my primary school teacher told me i'm good because i have self-motivation.wow.

someone told me she's never met someone more busy than me.i have to divide time for my family,friends,boyfriend,school and work.but hey,ever since i was small all i ever wanted to do in life was to make people happy.because when they are happy,i am.haha.how cliche.

oh.mummy's fine.daddy too.and grandmama as well.there are some things i haven't said to a single soul.some things that are better kept inside.thats who i am.i like to keep things inside.thats why he said im a tough cookie.haha.

--

half past three.

--

i'm looking forward to tomorrow.and then i think again.seriously,how long more can we last?she told me to tell him how unfair it is that time hasn't been given to me.but i told her,no.i don't want to be selfish.its what he wants so i don't want to hold him back.just because of me.

--

the thoughts of a young adult at three in the morning.

.the S word.

2008-10-29T23:55:00.002+08:00

thats it.im getting stressed already.
assignment.deadline.assignment.deadline.
die.
let's see if i can even crawl out of this term alive.

.done.

2008-10-23T10:43:00.002+08:00

im glad.i'm finally learning something which i'm already familiar with.pretty good at it as well.just need to learn a few more ropes.and who knows,one day i can make my very own website!haha.

what am i taking again?

WEB DESIGN APPLICATION.

it gets a bit boring sometimes.oh,well.radio's coming up next.interesting.
im sleepy.
sigh.
thank god its thursday.
cos tml is friday and its fun day!
yey!

sorry.im bored.
goodbye.

.personal.

2008-10-21T12:50:00.002+08:00

this is crazy.one by one my girlfriends are going private.and the irony is,you privatise your online journal but there are still your friends who can read them!so,what exactly is the definition of private then?be careful,my dear because even if your friends need some kind of permission to access your site, other people can still read that private blog someway or another.

just my personal opinion.not meant to hurt anyone or ditch anyone.to each his own eyy.honestly,i am glad that my girlfriends gave me access to their private blogs because this shows that they trust me.and having that trust is good.its good.

its already 1p.m.thats it.im pon-ing feature writing lect already.might be going for radio later.love mario.because he's super mario.

oh,i have a private online journal too.one where no one else has ever read because it contains the deepest secrets ever.

i think i sound too serious now.come,i show you my most bimbotic picture to date.just to lighten the atmosphere of this blog.

goodbye.

.little bucket of sunshine.

2008-10-19T01:18:00.002+08:00

guess who met the parents just now?

the boyfriend!

HAHA.

and there's only one word to describe my I&E Events Management ~~lecturer/tutor~~ mentor.

ANIMATED.

guess there's still that little tiny bit of sunshine out there in life eyy.

.gone.

2008-10-15T16:23:00.006+08:00

third day of school.its eight in the morning and i can tell you the whole class is stoning.i reached school at bout 6.40 by car and slept at the clubbie for another hour.hmm.this ahsan uddyn shan guy is not starting.oh,oh.he just stood up.he looks real scary.like...scary.only me and aqilah know why.

--

last night i showed mummy our video.and you know what she said?

"korang nie tk btol ah.ey,dah giler ah korang."

and all the while she was laughing throughout the whole vid.
-.-"

what video you may ask?this video,the nyahs beraya vid.

so.if you guys think we are a silly,crazy bunch of nothing-to-do young ladies,well that's who we are.and we're proud of it.

oh,btw.im currently writing in lj as well.no,not private entries but public ones.wanna view?ask me personally for the url.hehe.

just so you know,journal is 90% locked.
:)

.because.

2008-10-11T14:46:00.002+08:00

im doing fine.just fine.just fine.just fine.

to yasmin.on behalf of nyahs, i would like to sincerely apologise for whatever had happened.the next time,i'll make sure we'll plan according to your time and convenience.
:)

.anticipation.

2008-09-22T11:09:00.003+08:00

its 11.08 in the morning.i woke up at 9.30 today and i haven't bathed yet.haha.oh,how i miss this feeling of doing nothing,of lazing around.it feels like i have a gazillion things to do but i don't know where to start.i do have tons of things to blog about but im awaiting pictures.so,as of now.i think i'll just watch movies or dramas or just laze around and do nothing.oh,how heavenly.

because tonight is the last night.funny how we feel as if nothing's gonna happen tomorrow.even funnier because i myself don't know what im supposed to be feeling.

but its ok.because.two weeks from now,i'll be fetching you.and things are gonna be fine again.i hope.

.rant.

2008-09-02T13:09:00.004+08:00

ok,just a quick update.i know i haven't been updating for the longest time ever.things happened and stuff.im sorry to some people if i haven't been keeping in touch or if i don't really seem to talk much on phone.i'm very much caught up with a lot of things now.

for one,work is filling up my time as usual.then there's the dikir trainings which somehow irritates me a bit.and then there's this pre-forum workshops for Poly Forum 2008 the whole of next week which really annoys me because they tell me to come prepared next week but didnt even state the time of day.irritating.really really irritating.because i can't plan out my activities and work schedule properly.urgh.and lastly,iftar 08' is keeping me busy as well.i'm pissed.because its supposed to be my holidays but i barely have time for myself.

and last night,i texted someone hoping to get a reply at least but didnt even get one.i have no idea what he's doing if he's really busy he could have at least texted me so or if he's sick at least tell me something.because i'm only left with three weeks.and hell,that's not even enough time at all.

aku stress.aku bingit.dah.

.not yet.

2008-08-19T02:01:00.003+08:00

i feel slightly better now.just ranted at lj.now i have an exam in exactly 12hours.pray hard i'll pass at least.because if i fail,i will have to break up with yazid(haha.inside joke.)

i won't break down.not yet.

.missing.

2008-08-12T19:55:00.003+08:00

i have been missing a lot on things the past week.and people.i haven't seen many people and yes,i do miss them.i don't know what i have been doing though.that kept me away from this world.i guess no good words could be written here.nothing excites me enough to even talk about it here too.

saturday night fireworks with the love was,love.haha.finally,i could watch fireworks with him alone in the sea of other human beings.very lovely.though i told him i didn't favour the fireworks much because "fireworks tu suke main-main dengan perasaan kiter."haha.saw permy and im as well.sweet.besides that,i've been laughing a lot around him too.i don't know if that's supposed to be a good thing.or not.

i miss going out with some people.but it seemed,some things happened and somehow we don't go out like we usually do anymore.and,its not like i can be the same around them now.but its ok.i still have other great people that i've always been hanging around with.

i may not show it but i really do miss seeing my girlfriends and boyfriends.and whenever i meet any one of you,i am really excited of that prospect.even if i don't even show that side.

i'm supposed to start mugging already.fasting month's around the corner.and i have a feeling there's a lot that i have to go through.

happy mugging people.bye.

2008-07-30T00:24:00.003+08:00

thanks ah yazid.

no, i dun want you to change your schedule to go out with me next saturday.

i just wished you would have at least texted me and informed me beforehand when you saw the schedule just now.so that we could come to a consensus somehow.
i'm angry that sometimes you just think of earning money so much you put us aside.
so i'm being selfish.but we haven't been going out for god knows how long.
and i was looking forward to next saturday sia.

never mind lah.go earn your double pay.
nak kua ngan matair pun bile-bile mase bleh pe.

.taxi drivers.

2008-07-29T10:13:00.004+08:00

i slept at almost 3a.m. last night and woke up at 7.30 today.was supposed to meet my group at 8a.m.so i'm pretty much late.decided to take a taxi then.

the first thing the taxi driver, a malay uncle, asked me was how much i usually pay a trip to school.told him i don't always take taxi to school.but gave him an estimate of about $7.

after a while,i sneaked a look at the meter.and.i didnt see a number.at all.the meter couldn't possibly be spoilt right?more to it,the taxi driver couldn't possibly have switched off or whathave you the meter which means that he's not charging me for the ride right?

for one,he looks like a new taxi driver.because he asked directions to my school.but then again,he could be a taxi driver for 10years and never had a passenger who wants to go ngee ann poly.

finally,when we've reached.he only asks $5 from me.

thank you pakcik even if i look like i don't afford a taxi ride.
thank you pakcik even if it means your salary will be lesser and your wife and kids will have lesser to spend on.
thank you pakcik even if this is just a norm to you.

terima kasih pakcik.

.politics.

2008-07-23T02:25:00.002+08:00

its 2.25a.m. as of now.just finished writing up 400-word news article for the newspaper project.im supposed to be sleeping already but i don't know lah like got this itch to blog.hehe.so,here i am.yey!

let's see.i've been very very very very busy with assignments and dk trainings.all projects coming in at one shot.plus,dk comp's this sat.i dun even have the time to work.almost broke down just now cos i had to do two assignments to be handed in by tonight to my grpmate.but its ok.talked to the dear one about it.told myself to keep going.and now,im done.yey!

that aside too.been going to many places like last two saturday at popeyes with lovely peeps, romzi&juleha, helping out at Mega Perdana and of course covering news event with the dear one.i really want to write about all these events that have happened.but,somehow i think its not the time yet.heehee.busy busy as a bee.right.

well,at least i have something that keeps me going.

romzi-ku.

mampus.lepas nie cnfem kene mrh ngan yazid.

ok,bye.

.of crappy talks and fixing watery eyes.

2008-07-08T19:20:00.002+08:00

the absence of not writing does not mean i don't care anymore.it does not mean i'm too caught up with other more important tasks.and it does not mean i am lazy.
sometimes.you just don't know what to write about you know?and sometimes.you just don't have the inspiration to write the appropriate things.because all these while we have been blogging not to rant out on daily lives.we have been blogging to get people to be interested to read.

-

currently at the clubhouse.waiting for fana to come.got to discuss some costume issues.mostly,the financial part of it.people are practicing the rebana, playing lappies and just hanging around.oh,well.

assignments.completed one yest.some newswriting assignment.i have a sudden interest in newswriting.maybe one day i can be a journalist.three weeks' time.i have a few projects due.busy-busy.and then its the exams.and finally.finally.the holidays.great.

sunday afternoon.spent time catching up with some people.on msn.haha.always had a great time chatting with the other bestfriend.sometimes crappy talks are just a great way to relieve boredom.he never fails to make me smile whenever we talk online.

got to catch up with the other one too.the other whom i've always enjoyed working with.whom i miss so much.and whom i had no idea he was no longer part of us.it really saddened me.because when i first came in,i got to know a lot of great people.people i can have fun working with on floor.and without me realising,they leave.one by one.i miss all of them.things are different now.the jokes,the fun i have now.its not the same as last time.never will be i guess.
faris,my sunday night partner.i hope you'll come back soon.i miss you so much sundays are not the same anymore without you.haha.

-

the boyfriend.we got into a really huge fight last week.something i can claim to be the worst fight ever recorded in the history of our two and a half year relationship.but,we made up.and i promised him something.i will try to fulfil it though it is a bit hard.but i will.now,i think i love him more than ever.esp after that talk at ecp.i think.haha.

fana's here.wonder what i'll do when i reach home later.hmm.maybe watch more of Bones and Greek.till then.

thank you for reading.
haha.
sungguh the formal.com

.take a bow.

2008-07-01T14:28:00.002+08:00

i just want you to know if i had known you were there,i would have gone to you first.
please,forgive me.

.of celebations and surprises.

2008-06-29T00:03:00.007+08:00

all of these and more when i finally can find the time to write a proper update.till then people.
goodnight.
:DD

.a rant.

2008-06-24T12:44:00.002+08:00

im screwed.im not even halfway done for newswriting's FA1's first draft.and i was so bloody assured that advert's sales promo ad analysis is due end of the week.but you know what,its due during tutorial.and advert tut's tomorrow.die.i haven't even searched for a salas promo ad yet.die.die.and i'm feeling very lethargic since sunday.maybe i shouldnt have woke up early to come down and watch that match.my eyes feel tired.and i forgot to bring my pocket money that mummy left on the table simply because i was rushing for school.so,im pretty much depending on $3 left in my purse for the whole day.lucky i heated up some cinnamon crown roll i brought home from work to bring to school.although the top part's pretty much burnt.oh,well.i pon-ed yest morn's first lect.simply because i couldnt wake up due to working night shift sun night.had mrm just now and we did cumulative frequency and stuff related like that.and i was so engrossed in doing the tut worksheet i didnt realise that i didnt feel that sleepy at all.and i thought to myself.i should have gone into some engineering course.or go into jc and take some maths elective.you know what i feel?i feel so demotivated because i haven't been doing well in mass comm.i want to get good grades.i want to be like how i was back in sec school.and i really need to work on my time management.ever since the two week break,my time management's gone pretty bad.i need to buck up.i need to get a hold of myself.i have to.

yes.this is a rant.

now.i want to have a short nap.
goodbye.

.i wonder.

2008-05-29T11:30:00.005+08:00

have you ever wondered
how when you are in a relationship for a long time
do you ever wonder
if the love you had for your partner is not as strong as when you first met
how when its not love anymore that's keeping you stay
how when you think it turns to just another commitment
or eventually becomes a burden
will there still be love at all in the end?

im still here.breathing.if any of you readers are curious as to why i haven't been updating for sometime.many things have been happening.i don't even know what to write about.haha.what is keeping me from updating is actually the assignments and intensive trainings.besides that,my mackyboo dropped flat on the floor from the table and now its pretty much hanging on a thread of life.so,im pretty much laptop-less.for now.

i have an assignment due tomorrow.another two due next week.and yes,tv prod's interview show which im not sure when we'll be recording.dinamis trainings are now on mondays and thursdays and saturdays for dikir and tuesdays for tarian.wednesday too if i have to come down for bahasa to refine on my poem reading.thank god next week's the common test week.not that i have any,but dinamis trainings will take a break to make way for us them to study for tests.

all these have taken a toll on me.but i've learnt to get used to it because i know it won't be long before its over.i mean the show's in two week's time.as for assignments,they seem to be piling up every time i just finished rushing and pressurising through one.its ok.its something i have to adapt to anyway.

oh.and for the record.....

DINAMIS SENI '08

-Mendongak Ke Langit-

walau sejengkal, segunung disemai

Ngee Ann Polytechnic's very own Malay Cultural Club; XPDTari (dance), SriNadi (drama), Cendekiawan (language) and Paduka & Adiratna (dikir barat) brings to you 'Mendongak Ke Langit: walau sejengkal, segunung disemai'. A production that evolves around aMalay boy growing up in a conventional Malay community of Singapore in the 1960s. Bearing his mother's words of wisdom in mind, we see not only the choices he made but also the ups and downs faced by the Malay society in a more artistic way yet comprehensible for the general audience.

We hope that with this production, we will be able to promote greater awareness of the Malay culture, thus instilling social and moral values for youths like us to be a more active and responsibleindividual towards the community and also to our own elderly family members.

COME ON! Gather your families and friends and experience the promising and colourful performances that's filled with artistic value.

TIKET: $6

14TH JUNE 2008, ~~6.30PM~~

NOW @ A NEW TIME SLOT 8PM

CULTURAL THEATRE, LT 26 @ NP

BOOK YOUR TICKETS NOW!

For sale of tickets and general enquiries, please contact Reza Fahmi @ 91110876 or Diana @ 97814665

oh.and of course you can get through me too if you want.please come and watch because i will be performing too.haha.

ok,that aside.do you know that i'm loving my nyahs every each passing day?i love it when everyone will be replying emails to each other,flooding each others' inbox-es like as if we're chatting on msn only this is through email.and i am really looking forward to the gathering this sat.and its ok if one can't make it bacause even though she's not there with us physically,she's always there in our hearts.we'll still be having this gathering every other month anyway.

through thick and thin.together as one.

.like a prune.

2008-05-08T23:29:00.002+08:00

im drained.physically,mentally,emotionally.im so stressed out all i want to do is hide in a small corner,close my eyes and forget everything that's going on in my life.i want to cry because i can fall anytime.but i held on.

i can choose not to commit to this bloody thing.but i did.and now,im beginning to think whether i really should be committing to this.its only for a mth more.but its very taxing to be going for trainings almost every day.and when i reach home,it'll be late and i'll be too drained out to do my assignments.i have two assignments due monday.both involves research and a lot of writing.and i don't know when i can find the time to finish them.

IM STRESSED LAHHHHH!!!

period.

ok,bye.
back to thinking of what to do for now.
this is what you get when people are too stressed they blank out they don't know what they are supposed to think about.

.of the little things.

2008-05-02T15:56:00.006+08:00

ok,first and foremost....

happy belated bday eqa and rosie!
legal already don't do illegal stuff ah!

walaupun rmbt aku dah rebond,aku ttp ingt bday krg.heehee.

chet.sesungguhnye tkde link.
-.-"""

and you know what?
primary 5 maths is driving me crazy lahh!!

you see, i was very weak in my maths when i was in pri sch.only when i came to sec sch did i begin to be very good in it.but then rite,since im so good with sec sch maths,i shld be able to handle pri 5 maths rite?correct anot?wah,but some of their problem sums so hard and complicated ah that i just feel like teaching the little sister to use 'x' to solve the problems.why?because its so much easier than drawing diagrams!

tsk.if the science topics are like sec sch ones already,why the gov don't want to make the maths the same?haiyer.haiyer.make the lives of people like me difficult only.

anyway,aqilah is here beside me looking at what im typing.so,cannot write mushy2 stuff.haiyer.then just now,she tried to type crap-crap in here.tsk.oh,and mel also!
people want privacy also cannot get.

--

oh.and to you.
you don't have to learn to be romantic
or even want to become the hopeless romantic.
the little things you do for me.
they are romantic enough.
love you,love you.

ok,bye.

.ibu.

2008-04-28T22:02:00.004+08:00

i was there all along.
i kept updated with the news.
i even went in for a visit last saturday.

but as shocking as it still is.
she's gone.
forever.

marilah kita sama-sama sedekahkan al-fateha kepada arwah siti zubaidah bte muhd nasir,isteri kepada abang imran.moga allah mencucuri rahmat ke atas rohnya dan tempatkan dia di kalangan orang-orang yang beriman.amin.

i was working when i received the news.i was so shocked i asked for a 5-min break and began calling everyone else to ask whether they've heard of the news.when i got through farah,i told her and i cried.i cried.because i can't believe it happened too soon.after that,i composed myself and went back to work,feeling numb all the while.on the way home,i kept thinking of her daughters.i kept thinking of abg im.then i thought of my loved ones.

no matter how unfair i think this whole situation is,i know and i believe that it happened for a reason.tuhan ada rencananya sendiri.for now,i really hope that abg im will be strong enough to go through imminent obstacles.insyallah.

we will be there if you need help.

we will always keep a lookout for putri and dayang.

thats our promise as Adiratna.

.imperfect.

2008-04-24T12:58:00.002+08:00

sometimes we try so hard to impress others that they end up either taking advantage of us or thinking we are not even as close to being good enough.

.first.

2008-04-14T23:02:00.002+08:00

first day back to school.
intro,lecture,and stuff.
alah,mcm biaser jgakkkk.

but then right.....
since its the first day of school right....
suddenly the freshies seem to be dominating the whole of np.
punyerlah ramai orgggg....

surprised reactions and pressure from lecturers.
why pressure?
you duno ah,they like to threaten us whatt....
aku taulah yr 2 more expectations,tkyah nk takutkan kite perr....
aku baru nk semangat jd pelajar paling rajin nk mampus.
nehmind,nehmind.
can survive one.

first two lectures was ZzZzzzzzzz......
last two lectures best!
why?
bcos suddenly got duno-what-soulwindspirit go inside my body
you know what i did?
i wrote down notes during lecture lah!
and somemore ritee...
i listened to what crap they talking you know.
somemore write down the extra crap in my notes ok!
very good rite?!
i know.

oklah,i want to sleep already.
duno why so sleepy already sia.
ok,bye.

oh,one more thing.
when im online no one wants to chat with me.
when i appear offline,or put status as busy/away ritee...
always must have someone want to chat with me one.
always one...
haiyer,people these days ah.
so weird sia!

ok ok,must go sleep already.
gdbye!gdnite!
ok,bye.

.change.

2008-04-12T12:24:00.001+08:00

yesterday,i rebonded my hair.

and now,i look like a carbon copy of fiza.

.this love.

2008-03-30T12:41:00.002+08:00

sometimes im so scared to be too happy because i know this feeling will never last long.

.you.

2008-03-27T10:55:00.002+08:00

everytime i see you
all i want to do is summon up all courage
brave myself and come to you.

i want to tell you how i've moved on with my life.
how im not naive like how you think i am anymore.
how im very much in love with my boyfriend
how im very contented with my life now.

i really want you to know that it was a wasted relationship.
i want you to know that guys like you are the biggest losers ever.
that guys like you are the most coward human forms i ever know.

i never regretted not cherishing our times.
i never regretted not treating you well enough.

i only regretted the pleas i made to you.

maybe its just me
but i know you're avoiding me last night.
why,that i really want to know.
you bastard.

its been a few years.
but i can still remember clearly how you made me suffer.
how you made me a fool.

to you,
you are one person i will never forget in my life.
ever.

.just a quickie.

2008-03-22T17:59:00.003+08:00

im now at a downtown internet cafe at kuala terengganu. surfing a bit and stuff.just so you know,i may not be back home sunday.may reach home only on the monday.a bit of problem occurred here.nehmind.as long as i reach home safe.

by the way,redang trip was great!though i didnt really get tanned.nehmind.although i prefer the corals at tioman,snorkelling at redang was still ok though tiring.

im hungry.been eating a lot.i seriously need to lose weight.

and the camera's on strike.so we only have pictures from the beginning of the trip. :( unless kak intan and nusra sent in their camera pictures.which i doubt will happen. :(

ok,i think i need to go off already.going for tea!i think i kinda like this place im in right now.haha.got to go.bye!miss me more people!heehee.

*edited*

by the way, happy advanced bday dayah and amz!will do a proper celebration when i come home ok!

p.s: hey you,don't worry ok.i will reach home soon enough.wait for me.im coming.miss you.

.dear love.

2008-03-20T14:22:00.002+08:00

yes,i guess it is time.

im back.been quite caught up with a lot of things lately.and having fun at that too.like the store chalet last thur&fri.and like ecp-ing with the love on sat.and like watching step up 2 with the girlfriends on mon.besides that,i have a lot of other things going on.like combined dinamis pracs,adiratna so-called trainings,work and stuff at home.i barely have time for myself.

ok,breath.

a weekend getaway to Redang is just what i need right now.will be going off tonight and won't return till sunday.can't wait to go snorkelling and just suntan on the beach.suntan of whatt...am kinda reluctant to go actoali due to some reasons.

anyway,i would like to give a note to some people here before i go off.just to make sure everything will be alright on their side by the time i come back.

dear bestf,

i hope things are ok between you two already.these kind of things always happen you know.you have to compromise.give and take.there's never a perfect relationship.smile.there's always sunshine after the rain.:D

dear permy,

i miss you.talk to you soon.

dear amz,

don't hope too much.don't wait too long.he will come back to you.he promised you before.he's my friend.i know he will never leave you hanging.don't bother too much.don't cry at night.smile.even if its hard.:D

dear love,

please take care of youself when im gone.please don't get sick because i know you will.miss me but not too much ok.i love you very strong you know.heehee.

hugs and kisses,

irma.

.in three words.

2008-03-09T20:55:00.004+08:00

what more can i say?AGM 2008 was a blast.everyone was in their best ever.i almost won best dress but i didn't.kiki did.thanks to me.haha.almost all the nyahs came down.sadly,farah wasnt in the picture.because she had to rush off to i-duno-what.but its ok.everyone was happy-happy.i looked so pretty and ~~sexy~~ if i was someone else i would fall for me.there are more pictures in my handphone but i can't transfer them to the pc i duno why.but its ok.im happy with this for now.

anyway,i think it was last sat that i watched The Leap Years with the girlfriends- fiza,dayah and adee.such a great movie,especially for a local one.fiza cried the most.so unlike of her,at least to me.i did too,but not as bad.dayah said she didnt,i believed her.adee also said she didnt.that,im not gonna believe.i would love to watch it again.this time with a loved one.but i doubt it'll ever happen.but its ok.at least i've watched it.

and then,just last friday i went on a shopping spree with kiki and amz.although it wasnt quite a shopping spree because i only got myself haivannas while the other two got their zara bargains.and as much as i can accept the fact that im no longer size s,i still miss the feeling of being a size s.but its ok.im loving my curves more and more each day.oh,and tml monday i'll be doing more shopping with the bestfriend.although i duno how we are gonna quite work it out because she has to rush off for dance at 3.30.but its ok.at least i get to spend a bit of time with her.

and then after all the walking and rounding of shops,we finally chilled at kiki's father's workplace.(yes,im still on the subject of last friday.sorry,i think i sidetracked a bit too far)oh,and where is it?Marina Mandarin Hotel, Singapore.we had a nice breathtaking view because we were at the 21st level.camwhoring session began.and pictures can be viewed at my multiply thank you.

let's see.i think thats all there is for now.entry long enough for you?i think so.so,while you people start clicking on links to other blogs and lj's...

im gonna do something i've been doing a lot recently.

and that is.......

haha.bet you thought i was gonna tell you huh.
but its ok.
if you know,then you know.
if you do not know,then......
you do not know lah.
haha.
ok,no.
then go figure lah bodoh.
ok,bye.

.of what defines love.

2008-03-01T22:37:00.002+08:00

i miss you so much i can't pretend im fine with how things are like now anymore.
please call me tonight.
and tell me you miss me too.

2008-02-25T15:10:00.003+08:00

im trying to be rational here.
maybe they are not in the wrong.
maybe we are actually in the wrong.
maybe because we saw one small mistake.
then we start to find every little flaw in them.
and start criticising,hating them.
just to make ourselves feel better.
just to prove the very point that they are in the wrong.
maybe all this is an over reaction.

but,who can blame us?
we can't help but react that way.
the way they potray themselves to the rest of the world.

yet again,why are they to be blamed?
maybe they didn't mean to act that way.
i mean,its not wrong to make lots and tons and truckloads of friends.
it's not wrong to be proud that you belong somewhere.

who's to blame,really?
or maybe,why is each and everyone of us acting like this?
i just don't understand.

so,what will become of us in the end?
what will the end be?
or maybe,is there even an ending to this suppressed hulabaloo?
what is happening,really?
what is the problem,seriously?
how did all this start?

why can't everyone stay happy and contented?
why can't everything stay the same till eternity?

if you understand,then you understand.
if u decide to be oblivious,then fine.
if you want to be cynical about this,then go ahead.
if you don't understand a single word i've written,then go figure.

maybe all of us shouldn't have created a shithole out of nothing.

i've said my piece.
i rest my case.

you said you'll call in the morning.you didn't.

.reality check.

2008-02-20T10:58:00.003+08:00

i spent this morning browsing thru people's lj's and blogs.and i found some bimbo's lj!haha.i woke up at 9.30 to teach lil sis her maths homework.very hard especially since i just woke up and i actually had to read the qns a few times to decipher the actually very chicken feet problem sums.oh,how i miss the pleasure of indulging my brain cells into the delights of mathematics.haha.so chim sia.

BRMY camp was very spiritually uplifting.it brought me closer to the one above.more importantly,it made me realise how sinful i've been all these years.i really wanna change for the better.i think i'll take one step at a time.met a lot of awesome people too.i will always remember mujahidah in my heart.they are the best grpmates i can ever get in a camp.tears flowed during the farewell session.so surprising how we can be very bonded in a 2-day camp.

that weekend was like a fantasy getaway to happyland.now its back to reality.now its up to our ownselves to improve our self-being as a muslim youth.insyallah.

anyway,anyway.holidays are here!will be working if not go movie marathon-ing.can't wait to catch up with the girlfriends.go on chalets with 4A and rc partners.school's over.but cca's not.my holidays are pretty much filled up with lotsa activities apparently.

oh.and on monday we watched p.s i love you.the movie was so moving i held back tears most times.now i wanna buy the book and read it and cry.had ample time spent with bf.although i know things can never go our way all the time.i love him.

ok,i think that was randomly stated.

i feel like moving to lj.should i?

and if ever you leave me,

i'll wait here for the day you're back in my arms.

.scream.

2008-02-03T21:28:00.000+08:00

baik ah.aku ngah semangat nak buat assignment abeh hingus meleleh-meleleh kepala aku pusing-pusing macam gasing.~~nabey~~ kambing.bsk aku ade quiz tp aku lum blaja.abeh bsk tu due ekor nk jumpe buat projek lpas quiz.abeh aku nk kene siap untk performance lagi.alah,gi mampus lah.pegi jeklah.biar drg happy.aku kan sape.*sings*siapalah aku ini...

aaaarrrgghhh!!!!!

aku rindu korang ah.semua org lah aku rindu.dan aku rindu kau.

.stop.

2008-01-31T22:19:00.000+08:00

im having my forty now.
my back hurts.a lot.
i think im having my monthly dose of pre-menstrual syndrome.
im tired.who's not?haha.
i want friday to be over fast,fast.
in fact,i want this sem to be over,gone like the wind.
whoosh!

i need retail therapy.
and most of all.
i badly need a hug and a kiss.
from you.

.menunggu pagi.

2008-01-25T14:02:00.000+08:00

she waits in vain.
for the phone to ring.
to hear the voice.
to hear those words.

she's scared.
anxiety.
restlessness.
she can't put her mind on things right.

she closed her eyes.
oh,yes she did.
to ease her pain.
to lessen her suffering.

and she clutches her phone close to her heart.
anticipating the call.
"please ring.", she pleaded.
"please,please call me."

she's still waiting.
waiting.

waiting.

.i try.

2008-01-21T12:20:00.000+08:00

today im gonna write about my date with bf last sat.

oh,before that.np's open house 08' was great yaw!and adiratna's performance was awesome o'! even with the sudden bad flu i had,i still had so much fun.and thanks naq fer being my kakak nurse. coming up is arts fest.i cun wait to perform again lah!

anyway,back to last sat's date.bf wanted to get some Lonsdale shirt.so we head out to vivo.went into the shop twice.asked for assistance twice,even tried on a shirt once.alas,we went out of the shop empty-handed.he got himself a new bagpack at another shop instead.mcmlah next week dah nak start scola gitu.dined in at banquet.then he got his kopibean while i got my starbark.and we saw farah&azmi twice.things didnt go so well towards the end of the night.i saw something i really shouldnt have seen.but its ok.im not even angry you know.at least i know how much i mean to you.

work last night was exceptionally great.because,because the partners on shift rock my socks off and,and there weren't many customers at all.none of the usual sunday slam.haha.im working three days this week.baik ah.when i get my pay,i wanna go get lots of retail therapy.and buy him lots of stuff.

journal 2 deadline is being extended to tml.i haven't even started on it yet.im not lucky.just blessed i guess.haha.ritee..things don't always go my way you know.

im still in a daze.even after waking up from a short nap an hr ago.i think i'll start on my journal after this.i think.

*edited*

and i didn't pon socpsych lect ok!gawd,i still think this lect is a waste of time.-_-""

i lied.
everything was all a lie

.hold on.

2008-01-15T13:21:00.000+08:00

its been two weeks.the past week was very hellish i still haven't gotten over the pressure.but its ok.three more projects and a couple more assignments to go within three weeks and then i'll have my long,long break.

i didn't want to.i didn't ask to be there.i never wanted,never dreamt i would reach to that stage.all i wanted was to be part of it.that alone,is good enough for me.because i have enough on my mind to think about,to worry about.although it would be nice if i were to be the one.but,then again.no,i don't think i want to do this.

anyway,anyway.ngee ann's open house will be on the 17-19 jan from 11-6p.m. please come down especially on the 18th,friday at 2.30p.m.why,why?because adiratna's performing! heehee.im especially excited for this upcoming performance because,because i don't know why.but i know i'm gonna have fun during that time.but,yes.what im trying to say here is that do come down for np's open house because we have 'that something xtra'!(ok,nie part dah mepek.)

and im loving my rc partners by the day.they are the best yaw!

i want to sleep.lesson's not startin till 3.

bf,i want to meet you today can?

ok,i'll end here.will update again ~~sooon~~.

im experiencing nose bleedings again.and i don't have a good feeling about it.

.procastinate.

2008-01-02T11:22:00.000+08:00

i miss my boyfriend.badly.

last night i asked him to wake me up at 11.50p.m. because i wanted to do my assignment.then he gave a wake up call lah.and suddenly,i don't feel like doing my assignment.malas beb.tkde mood pun ade.so i told him i wld do it 2ml morn,which is today lah.and he said that i won't do it because i'll be doing other redundant things instead of doing my assignment.but i assured him that no,i will definitely do it as soon as i reach school.he gave up after trying 7625341 times to get me to start on my assignment.aku rase die sakit hati ah.sape tk bingit kalo dpt matair yg tknk dngr kate.

and,well..he was right.i did not start on my assignment as soon as i reach school.instead,im here now writing an entry on my blog.heehee.procastination.procastination.but.i will start on it after i finish this.

really.you don't believe me meh?

serious.i will start as soon as i finish writing this entry.

teehee.

anyway,new year is here.2007 had been a good and not so good year for me.all i want for 2008?for things to be much,much better than they are now.my resolution?i think i'll keep that to myself.*winks*

and if any of you wants a detailed entry of cende's bbq,you can go to my multiply.don't forget to comment and ~~take~~ steal pictures ok.thank you.

and,and im a happy,happy girl because writcom's info essay deadline is being extended,extended.
:D
oh,how i love my writcom lecturers.
oops.

happy new year people.ok,bye.

.for the last time.

2007-12-28T13:52:00.000+08:00

oh,hello.

:)))

changed layout.this time its a lil bit loud and noisy.don't you think so?

citopet.citepot.cotipet.

yah i know my layout is damn nice.

thank you,thank you for the compliments.

and thank you for the tags too.

i read ok.

i just don't bother to reply to them.

heehee.

now,its time for a proper update.

lets see.i've had so many events happening since the term break started.but i think i'll start from last friday.hmmm.

last friday we had our store meeting and spring cleaning. store meeting held at sb-ct.woah.their floor like damn spacious cn?i think can play catching sia.so,yes.me,hadee and alif reached dere first.i shldnt have followed them sey.because right,we had to wait 2 hrs before everyone else came.-_-"

still,had fun with them.store meeting was a bit draggy.but.it all ended well with the xmas gift exchange.and guess what i got? ralph lauren shirt lah sey! thank you izad!you're the best lah!after that,we all went back store and slacked arnd fer awhile before starting on our spring cleaning.me,hadee and hairi had to clean out the backroom.gd job done i guess.left early at 2 and got back to mel's house fer an overnight stay.i cldnt really sleep.onlygodknowswhy.but i finally did at 4+a.m.

then on saturday.Piala Khatulistiwa.finally the much awaited day arrived.after playing scriptwriter,i had to take care of the emcees on the day itself.and im sorry perm and hakim if i didnt pay much attention to you guys.overall,the event was a successful one although it was a tad too long.and yes.i had to be behind the curtain all the time.which means that i have to watch all 23 performances.so what did i do in the end?i slept on the floor behind the curtain everytime a group performed.pat wau bulan jek tros terbgn.mcm wake up call sey.after all that is over,ate at al-azhar.and finally,home sweet home. :)

oh.and the next day,the family went back kampung fer a night's stay.the morning after,we headed out to the Gunung Ledang Waterfalls.and the water was damn cold lah.bt i loved it.had a great time with them.some family bonding session huh.

and what did i do for the rest of the days?rot at home.no work.assignments left untouched.i did nothing.but rot at home.tsk,tsk.

yesterday,cende had a bbq at kak serlyna's condo.had good times.i'll post more bout it.afta i got more photos from adee.

ok,that's it.done.

quite a lengthy post don't you think?

oh,well.

at least i updated,right?

and i believe its still the christmas period,no?

so here's wishing you a Merry Christmas.

and a Happy New Year?

no,no.

that'll have to wait.

oh,shit.

new year.

2008.

resolution?

i haven't thought of a resolution yet!

ok,bye.

i don't know if its just me.

but i feel that things are becoming different now.

and i don't think i like it.

.get it.

2007-12-20T21:14:00.000+08:00

i have two free complimentary tickets to Piala Khatulistiwa.

and i don't know who to give it to.

anyone interested in going?

oh.Piala Khatulistiwa is an annual dikir barat competition held by NP's Malay Cultural Club.
it will be held this saturday from 9a.m. to 5p.m.

anyone interested?
please,please.
tag me,msg me,call me,anything.
just don't email me lah.

and just so you know,there will be open door ticket sales on the day itself.
thank you. :))))

.to be or not to be.

2007-12-14T12:42:00.000+08:00

its the fourteen of december.
its been two years.
but somehow i don't feel excited.
i don't feel happy.
i don't even feel thankful.
i feel nothing.

i just hope tomorrow will go on just fine.

.rainy days.

2007-12-09T22:06:00.000+08:00

i cried it out.so i think im fine now.

and i miss my bestfriend.

its killing me.

2007-12-03T12:44:00.000+08:00

im updating.because amiroool asks me to.because he said the last time i blogged was 2 days ago.and that is considered long ago.ohs wells.this time round,im going to fill this entry with pictures i took with mel two thursdays back.i present you the wonders of macbook's photobooth.

first,it was just normal picture taking.

then,we got a bit bored.

after that, we started to get a bit hyper.

mel had a brilliant idea then. she suggested using the effects.

finally,irma decided to use the pop art effect.

mel never fails to get mesmerised and fascinated by the wonders of the macbook's photobooth.org jakun katekan.

im sleepy.im bored.how come no one's chatting with me?writcom is killing me.i love writing.i really do.but having to do citations the proper way,leceh ok.im contemplating whether to listen in socpsych lecture or busy myself with redundant tasks.i want december to pass by quickly.its killing me.and lastly,i need retail therapy.

oh,by the way.yest i attended esa's wedding.at tampines.and you know what?i took the mrt all the way from jurong to tampines on my own.now i know what amz go through everyday.and you know what?im the third person to arrive lah sey.the others all haven't arrive yet.tsk tsk.nielah kalo janji dgn org mlyu.janji mlyu.ok,so.the event was ok.i didnt know hakimbo was a camwhore,like really a CAMWHORE.and so do the other rc partners.my date fer that day was amir.we wore white and green shoes.coincidence or what?i love the wedding decorations.purpur corour ok.cool or what?

and after that,some of them watched movies.i backed out last min cos feeqah wanted to meet me.ok,so me and her went to starbucks at fullerton.and she just cun stop talking about *toot*.ohs wells.and the first thing that was said by the partner there was,'hey,i like ur hair'.and guess whose hair?yes.like,duh lor.feeqah just had to start on her hair talk.tsk tsk.aku kat situ dah mangkuk sey.ohs wells.we had a nice evening.and yes,~~wedding~~ hakim's pictures will be uploaded soon.as soon as i get more from the others.

for now though.i want to go back to the lecture theatre.and do my redundant tasks.heehee.

.dangdut oi!.

2007-12-01T12:38:00.000+08:00

stop! engkau mencuri hatiku,hatiku..

stop! engkau mencuri hatiku...

dangdut oi!

ok,so i skipped socpsyh tutorial and screwed up my assessed speech.'hell hath no fury like a woman scorned'.gawd.getting that kind of topic for an assessed impromptu speech?who wouldnt screw up?

its been a pretty bad two weeks for me.doing last minute assignments(it doesnt do me well actually), friendship issues(thank god its over,i hope),werking and not seeing him fer two weeks.

yes.why am i making a big deal over not seeing him fer two weeks?because.his exams are over.and there's not supposed to be anything major coming between us.not supposed to.but there is.it hurts to be missing him.and its hurts more when i cun cry it out.sakit ok.sakit sekali.

this wun end anytime soon aniway.so,it doesnt make any difference.

that aside.i have a couple of deadlines to meet.and a few events squeezed in along the way.lets see...

deadlines:

. ITC test(tue)

. COM issues in-class essay(wed)

. WRITCOM assessed essay(next week)

. khatulistiwa script(fri)

events:

. KL trip- wedding invitation( sat)

. hari raya haji- balik kmpg(18-21dec?)

. class bbq(19 dec)

. piala khatulistiwa( 22 dec)

. his kuantan trip( 22-24 dec)

ok.i have nothing to say.this doesnt include werking and khatu rehearsals yet.ok.i duno.i just duno.i just want to get thru and be done with all of these soon.

because.im tired of rushing.im tired of attending to people's demands.im tired.i just want time on my own.

.period.

2007-11-27T15:18:00.000+08:00

i thought its over.why still talk bout it?i thought its settled.why still argue and moan over it?i kept quiet.i observed.what's with this friendship issues we are having?we barely knew each other for a year.why start to criticise each other's flaws already?

i just don't understand.we are supposed to be real friends who are there for each other all the time.real friends who laugh at each other and with each other.real friends who will listen and cry with each other.

if this is an misunderstanding,then please clear it.i thought this was a trivial matter.why make it confusing?why make it such a big hoo-ha?

we are matured young adults(well,at least i think so). why talk behind each others' backs?we have to learn to accept each others' flaws.everyone's not perfect.no matter how a saint he may be.

yes.maybe we should all sit down and talk about this.tell what you don't like about each other.better still,talk about each other's problems and share secrets.

if you are my real friend,will you?

.for starters.

2007-11-24T12:10:00.000+08:00

to iffa: yah,i noe.hahaha.thank you.tkdlah emo sngt ehk.hehe..

to -MeL-: well,lmbt laun pun you will show ur true colors rite? who won't rite?

to farah: aku dah bagi ok,thank you.kalo tk kakla jgn ketawa ok.hmmph.abg botak kepe?! chet! hahahaha..

to imran: hello imran.i met you yesterday.and pls ehk.malu sey adi dpt tau psl aku.isk.ok,bye.

to sheila[my little sisiter: thank you and your welcome.im not free these two days.ibu's gonna take leave and buy ur books ok.and i think my frens have read your comment thank you.

to amz: hehe..yah,at least i get to.

to Amirool: ape jek amirul.haha.mcm maknenek sey.my pasal lah! haha.

to Cristy: thank you whoever you are.but i cun seem to view it.

to Fiza: she doesnt blog.she goes to my blog and tagged.kpo sia.hahaha.

to amirr: busy gler?lain bulan?ok,cn.

to Holden: aww,im so touched!! i miss you nick!

to ias: yeah! i love ppl who drives fast! rock on brader! hahahha.

this is what i call a pre-entry.im free this weekend.so,im going to upload all the pictures to multiply.so as to end the sufferings of my dear friends who have been waiting for the pictures.hehehe.be back soon.ltr~~

.monday.

2007-11-19T13:01:00.000+08:00

430th post.

im sitting here below the convention centre eating soggy pratas that grandmama insisted on me bringing to school and bloghopping to god-knows-where.

sigh.this is such a boring day to start the week with.

plus its raining now and i didnt bring my sweater to school bcos i cldnt find it this morn and was pissed off that i cldnt find my wonder woman t-shirt.

great.now im only clad in black shirt and black skirt.

you tell me ah.how to survive in the lecture hall for the next one and half hour?

i think at most i'll just freeze to death lah ehk.

but ritee.....

im meeting the loved one ltr.heee.

at least i think that'll perk up my day.

45mins more to go.
what to do till then?
i think i'll just continue bloghopping to god-knows-where lah hor.

joke of the day:-
me: u,lets eat jp ltr. i feel like eating fried fish soup lah.
him: NK MKN JP? ok,mknlah kau bangunan tu.
me: eh,slh.mkn pat jp.

funny anot?
funny?
then laugh lah bodoh!

im ~~very very~~ veh veh bored lah sey!
ok,bye.

.perfect lover.

2007-11-11T23:14:00.000+08:00

a lot of things have been said and written.

a waste of time to be read again,don't you think?

comtemplation.

is it really worth written down and read by others?

festive seasons gone.

birthday celebrations over.

school's a mundane routine.

and work is manageable.for now.

alif calls me a kampung girl.

i think he didnt really mean it.

yet,somehow it sounded so harsh it hurts.

was it even meant to be a joke in the first place?

putting up a fake front.

we do it all the time

we forget who we are

deep down inside.

contradictions and ironies.

why do they even occur?

because we let them.

because we choose to make them happen.

he loves sally's rejex.

i love the tulips he gave.

fourteen december.

its drawing near.

do not say it

if you do not mean it.

do not show concern

when you know you're not.

i want to go shopping.

and hadi said i was so random just now.

goodbye.

and good night.

.cry.

2007-11-06T19:39:00.000+08:00

i just want to cry it all out.

.like broken records.

2007-10-30T11:16:00.000+08:00

omg.my birthday's like this friday lah sey.hehe.im gonna be seventeen!*jumps for joy*

hello,ppl.i haven't been updating like what,weeks?yah,i cun be bothered plus i have to commit to other thangs and cun find the time to actoali sit down and blog.yes,believe me when i say that.heh.

yes.im gona write bout my first and second day or raya-ing. wore green on the first and blue on the second.i didnt get green packets from grandmama and the parents.*sob2*.grandmama forgot and the parents said its nt the time of the mth yet.ritee.certain thangs have changed this year.like how i went for my very first hari raya prayers at the mosque and how some families came at a different time instead of the usual timing.

ok,its getting wordy up there.so,im gonna let the pictures do the talking.credits to iman for the cute icons yaw!

hover for captions!

ok,next.raya night out with the nyahs last two fridays.as usual,it was a very enjoyable,kecohrable,entertaining affair.a pity adee and yasmin couldn't make it.nevertheless. nyahs,they are the light of my life.

as always.all these pictures are available at my multiply.feel free to view them and ~~steal them~~ aite.

now.school assignments and projects are starting to build up.dikir performance this coming saturday.i have mcc raya outing this sun.and omg,i still haven't post about the ex-hkss raya outing last sat.work is ok,i guess.some days are good and others are bad.its 12.20 now.i havent bathed yet and im hungry.i have school at 3 ltr.and im lazy to go.i'll stop here.till my next post,ppl.ok,bye.

this is becoming such a chore.if last time i used to cry over it,this time im getting tired of it.tell me.what really is the problem?isit me?or you?or us?or do we blame the situation over and over again?are we meant to be this way?can we even find a way out?how long more do we have to go thru this?how long more?

like a broken record.
it repeats itself again and again.
when will it stop?
tell me.cos i need to know.

.last call.

2007-10-16T11:18:00.000+08:00

hello. :))

i know,i haven't been updating a while.but now i am.hee.been busy durin the week leading up to hari raya.a lot of things to talk bout.but first...

the answer to throw IRMA!

thank you for the many guesses of throw IRMA.from a starbucks product(HAHA!) to a pillow to a rug/blanket.there are even a couple who played around with the name itself.throw irma in a rubbish bin pe..

ok2.so,who got the answer right?dayah!it is a product from ikea and yes,

throw IRMA is a rug!

now,that aside.sorry if i haven't been replying to all the tags.i read them.i just dun bother to reply to them.hehx.i appreciate it that you people tagged.thank you ehk.lain kali,tag-tag slalu!

i have an announcement to make.listen up all 4A ppl! this is for you guys!pei gen and i are planning on another bbq session(again) this coming december during poly's two week break.but.you can choose to have a bbq session or a chalet.if i can get at least 20 responses,i will go on with the planning.i hope more can make it this time round.sms me or email me or even nudge me in msn if you're interested to go ok.choose ok.bbq or chalet! thank you!

ok,dah.i noe today is oready the fourth day of raya.but whatthehell.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN!

irma ingin meminta maaf kepada semua yang kenali irma.minta maaf jika ada tersilap kata,terkasar bahasa,menyinggung perasaan,membuat kamu semua marah,membuat kamu tunggu lama untuk irma datang,mengumpat di depan kamu,memarahi kamu,menyusahkan hidup kamu semua dan yang sewaktu dengannya.kalau irma ada terambil atau mencuri makanan dan minuman kamu,harap dihalalkan.sedangkan rasulullah mengampunkan umatnya,apalagi kamu.cey..macam paham jek aku.ok,ok.maaf sekali lagi.nanti tahun depan buat lagi!

oh,thank you to those who flooded my inbox with hari raya smses.including pei gen and nicky.thank you for the wishes yaw! :))

first day of school.what can i say?i was determined not to slack around and focus on my studies this semester.had lecture from 9-5 with a break from 12-2.cordelia's first lecture was a good start followed by a long winded one from patrick wong chin on.during break,hanged around with nyahs from fms.then,what'shisname gave a boring lecture on social psychology.does he even know what he's teaching?i totally tuned out the next two hrs.but,the day ended well with felix tan's lecture on radio.super hilarious lah ok.hahaha.

that's all i guess.its still the first week.i have lots more to look forward to.ritee.hari raya post coming up.till then.bye semue!

.just because.

2007-10-08T21:10:00.000+08:00

read feeqah's blog.saw this quiz/survey she did.got me into wanting to do it.interesting,i must say.not like those 'what were you doing a min ago' or 'does no.7 like no. 2' or even 'coke or pepsi' surveys/quizzes.yes,i have a lot of other things im supposed to be writing bout.but.for once,i want to sit back and think bout what will happen if any of the qns im going to answer below come true.

1. What is more difficult: looking into someones eyes when telling how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they tell you how they feel??

looking into someone's eyes when telling how i feel.

2. Think of the last time you were annoyed. Why were you annoyed?

feeqah was supposed to call us when her bus reached our stop so that we can take that bus.but,she didnt.(haha.ok,aku tk mrh agi ok.)

3. You will die in three minutes. Last call?

please forgive all my mistakes i've done people!

4. If you could do anything OR wish anything, what would it be?

my family to be like last time.

5. You can have one of the following two things: trust or love?

trust.with trust,everything else can happen.

6. You are walking to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss told you if you are late one more time you’re fired. Do you save the dog or not?

i can't touch a dog nor can i swim.i'll ask the help of a passerby or maybe even call the spca or the police or whoever can save the dog.

7. Would you or have you ever blackmailed someone?
erm..

8. Think of the last person who you know who died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give one year of your life. Do you do it?

1hr is nt even enuf for them.what's the use of giving it to them?ajal maut di tangan tuhan.

9. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?

the good traits,yes.my flaws,not.

10. Does sex=love?

if you mean sex as in love-making,then yes.if u mean it as a one night stand/lust,no.

11. Are you old fashioned?

i don't know.

12. Would you marry someone if they were unable to have sex?

of course not!how to make babies like that?HAHAHA.ok,seriously.i dun marry a man for his dick.yes,i will marry him.because i love him.

13. What would be harder for you, to tell someone you love them or that you do not love them back?

that i love him.

14. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up?

my dignity.and my love.

15. Romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them?

tell someone and really mean it? 141206.

16. If you had to go back in time and change one thing, if you HAD to, even if you have “no regrets” what would you change?

seriously,i duno.i think i would treasure and cherish my ex more.even when he's a jerk.

17. Imagine. It is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. WHO do you wish was there with you?

my love.

18. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying?

no,i don't know a thing bout CPR.i'll ask someone for help.and call the ambulance.

19. You are holding onto your grandmother’ s dying hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other which one would it be?

if i really am left with no choice,i will let go of my grandmother's dying hand.

20. When and how was the last time you told someone how you REALLY feel?
that night.i told someone i don't wanna lose him.and i cried.

If You had three months to live:

21. Do you tell anyone or everyone you are going to die?

no,i will only tell my closed and loved ones.

22. What do you do with your remaining days?

bertaubat.spend all the time i can with the loved ones.mendekatkan diri pada illahi.

23. Would you be afraid?

of course.but i will be prepared for it.

ok,done.its supposed to be a 'tag 8 people to do this' thing.but.i'll leave it to you guys to choose to do it or not ok.now,here's a list of things to look out for in the upcoming posts.cey,mcm sneak peeks plak.haha.

1. iftar camp 07'

2. the answer to throw IRMA.

3. announcement for 4A class gathering.

4. hari raya preps.

5. miscellaneous things.

6. and yes,your tag replies.

till here.

ok,bye.

.joy.

2007-10-05T11:55:00.000+08:00

im happy and excited!why you may ask?because..

1. i got a letter from an old friend,amalia!
2. iftar camp yaw! cun wait to meet the ppl frm other schs!
3. raya nk dekat!

yah,thats all.and afta this,im gona reply her 3 full paged letter and mail it today!yey!i haven't packed my bag fer camp.because i just checked the email today.haha.sesungguhnya ok.

and when i woke up today,i just realised something.i didnt wake up fer sahur lah.in fact,kak rin overslept which caused us to miss our sahur.oh,well.a good thang,i ate something when i got back frm training/work last nite.

speaking of which,last nite's training/work was a bit better fer me.my learning coach this time is esa.he's better,i can say.making sure i understood every detail.squeezing in 3-4 modules at one time with a break in between.bleh mangkuk sey.then i moved on to doing practical at the POS register.blur sotong again.esp. calling out beverages to the bar persons.if you get the sequence wrong,you have to repeat again.until you get it rite.

e.g:
"i want a iced tall vanilla extra whipped latte." or
" i have a grande chocolate cream chip no whipped frappucino blended cream."

haha.seriously,i duno even noe if i just typed out the right sequence of bev. calling.esa says i got potential.i just need to put in more effort.now,thats a bit of a confidence boost.

ok,before i end this post.lemme show you a picture.

hisham painstakingly took this picture just to send it to me and asking me to put it as my msn dp.thanks ehkk.

ok,now.guess what this is.

throw IRMA is a _____.

answer will be given on the next post.
bye-bye!

.catch me.

2007-10-03T11:27:00.000+08:00

this is what i got from feeqah perm.its so interesting i think i shld post it.she's so...indescribable! i mean,i got no werds to describe her.hahaha.

If you comment on this post,
1. I’ll respond with something random about you.
2. I’ll challenge you to try something.
3. I’ll pick a colour that I associate with you.
4. I’ll tell you something I like about you.
5. I’ll tell you my first/clearest memory about you.
6. I’ll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I’ll ask you something I’ve always wanted to ask you.
8. You must post this on your blog.

and this is what i commented on her blog.

ABANG……………
seriously,abang kau pretty lah sial.
prettyboy yaw!
heh.
eh,abang im main2 ajelah.
bergurau,tkkn kau nk irritated.
dun take to heart,take to lung.
hahahhaha.

irma lame sey.
ok,bye.

oh,and one more thang.
lagu ape yg kau ltk pat blog kau tu??
sesungguhnya,tk sedap langsung!

letaklah lagu raye ke,ape ke.
oklah,bye-bye.

and feeqah replyed:

irma- stop it with your preetyboy. Even if he’s preety, what you want me to do? Let you make up for him is it, so that he can look more preetier? HAHAHA. Please, i know abang im’s just playing. Do i sound so serious and that i take it to heart? I don’t take it to heart (neither am i taking it to lungs). I’m okay with it lah. It’s normal. gotta get used to it. and fyi, this is an oldies’ song. I love oldies’ song and i dont care if you hate it or if you think i got bad taste of song because ‘im not here fr your entertainment.’ eheheh.

1) You got big hips but small body. HAHAHA. (as claimed by you)
2) Kiss my ass. (its tasty)
3) Pink.
4) Very easygoing and good to talk to.
5) Ah, aku cakap dengan kau dekat FMS induction day. Aku make the first move okay.
6) Fox.
7) So, in three years time, will you get engaged with your boyfriend?

you noe the one thing that made me laugh out loud?
the last sentence.
hahahahahaha.
sesungguhnya,i'll be only 20yrs old.
im not that gatal to get engaged that fast.
im only twenty years old,for goodness sake lah.
i dun even noe if i'll still be with him.
hahahahaha.

today,i have errands to do.
buy stuff,go typhoid,give resignation letter.
and meet him!
heex!aku happy!
please,let today go smoothly.
insyallah.

btw,yest was my first in-store training.stationed at the frap sect. making ice blended bev. i was very blur sotong at first.but i think i can get the hang of it afta a while.my learning coach was alif.sesungguhnya,very heck care ok.hahaha.the ppl are nice,i think.i just need time to adjust to the new environment.

then ah,got one guy dere.
his name's amir.i think lah.
he's 17 and dark-skinned.
something bout him attracts me.
oh,well.
too bad im attached.
seriously,damn.
heh.

oklah.skrg irma nk mandi.ok,bye.

.lost.

2007-09-30T12:09:00.000+08:00

aku rasa kehilangan.

when it comes a time that i have to go,it means i have to go.

.look back.

2007-09-27T19:39:00.000+08:00

today i am going to write an entry.a proper entry where i don't only reply to tags or write stuff only i myself undestand.well,at least i hope not to contradict myself.yet,again.

it doesnt mean that when you are having mood swings,you can slam the door everytime you go out.it doesnt mean that when you hate to wake up early in the morning to go school,it gives you a reason to slam the door everytime you go out.and it doesnt mean that when you are in dire need of attitude adjustment,it gives you every right to make such a racket early in the morning threatening to spoil my day ahead and waking the neighbours up.for goodness sake lah,please!

why am i so frustrated over such trivial matters?ok,im not angry.wait,no.i am angry.angry with myself.why?don't ask me why.i also duno why.though i think i noe why.irma!*slaps forehead*

eh,lagu raya kua pat radio lah!

eh,wahlao.amirool,think i got nutin beta to do isit to only write posts on replyin tags?and feeqah & farah,aku dah update thank you.to my nyahs,gmbr-gmbr di multiply and yes,thank you to you guys too.sucha beautiful day out.pei gen,i cun wait fer that day!miss you lah ok!to those who needs to be relinked,will relink sooon ok?heex.:)))

style ehk reply tag mcm tu.HAHAHAHAHA.ok,bye.

anyway,saturday was spent with the family.we went out to geylang.and we spent 2hrs at first lady just to get the woman,young lady and girl's hari raya outfits.yes,then we went to break fast at terminal 2's swensens.i've always liked going there.ok,now im reminded of my house at pasir ris.haha.

and now,im downloading hari raya songs.nk feeling-feeling raya lah katekan.

hehehehehe.

i have photos taken on saturday.attempted photography skills(or maybe not) by iman and me.all taken while waiting for the parents who went grocery shopping.click here ok.ok,go.

.nyahs day out.

monday was beautifully spent with the nyahs.an unfortunate incident initially actoali brought us closer together.i have a lot more to say.but i guess i'll leave it to the pictures and captions to do the talking.as always.hehe.

sesungguhnya,gmbr seme syok sendiri.

ok,dah.gambar dah upload ok.jgn kecoh-kecoh lagi.nyahs day out part 2.featuring farah a.k.a gundu deng-deng.get those moolahs cumin in ppl!kaching!

and it hurts me that you're always hurt
because of me.
imperfections.
am never good enough.

.tag replies.

2007-09-16T20:33:00.000+08:00

to dayak: pregnant??ritee...same to you too,dear!

to fiza: yes.got any problem,kopibean?hehehehe.ok,bye.HAHAHAHA.ok,stop.ok,bye.

to amz: and you are esp. being missed! asyik m.i.a jek kau..isk.haha.

to farah: ok.firstly,yes i didnt fail.i passed but very not up to my standard.haish.2ndly,im not jiwang ok.it was just a moment of jiwang-ness dere.nyehehehe.thirdly,aku pun syg kau.tp aku syg yazid lebh!wa wa wa wa!and lastly,ye aku tau.caption mcm paham seyy!!haha.

to khairiyah: heex! yeah!cun wait to c you,nyah!

to fiqa: HEHEHEHE.eh,sue ade blg pe the last time you came fer training?tk ingt ke?haiyo,sorie k.wataver it is,we're goin out on the 24th fer buke,true?no?cheer up.you were sick.and now u dun sound gd.kekurangan kasih syg agknye ehk?hehehehe.ok,pardon me.ok,bye.

to feeqah: yah,i'll be 20 too.-_-"""""

.fifteen september.

2007-09-15T00:12:00.000+08:00

three years ago
i gave up on boys and relationships.

three years ago
i vowed never to fall into the game of love.

then,three years ago
you came into my life
in the most unexpected circumstances.

i never wanted to know you better
i never wanted to fall in love

who would ever thought
friendship could turn into something deeper
something that binds us together
something like...love.

now,three years later
you became the one person i can't live without
the one person i cherish the most
the one person i would never let go

who knows
what would happen of us
three years from now

but i know one thing
replying that text message was never a mistake
because
you're my one and only
first love.

happy 3years,dear luv.

hug&kisses from ur luv,me!
teehee.
:))))))

.anticipation.

2007-09-13T20:44:00.000+08:00

i am dreading my exam results tomorrow.i dun even wana think of how slack i've been in the past semester.give me preject assignments,i can try and do my best.give me theory-based tests,and i wun be bothered to study for them.sheesh~like for one,i only studied fer medsoc exam the morning before the paper started at 2p.m.yeah,im screwed.tell me bout it.aku tknk repeat sem lah siaaalllllll.

ok.i noe my other nyahs are all listing down the names of the nyahs they miss from A-Z in their entries.well,i'll just make it short.aku rindu nyah-nyah aku lah sey!!we'll set a date and break fast together-gether one day ok!aahh! i like,i love!*nyah mode*

oh,yes.to bestfriend a.k.a gundu deng-deng.i noe u hate me fer gettin starbucks.i feel bad,i really do.bt i noe u still love me no matter what.wa wa wa wa wa!*shakes head to the left**shakes head to the right*(inside joke)

first day of fasting and i had to work.yah,ok.im still at pizza hut.long story cut short,i dun bother to tell.nyehehehe.ok,so.i was the only girl staff that day( been a while since) and i had to listen to guys talk.everyone was fasting.but i noe who didnt.hehehehe.*evil laugh*anyway,i tell you ah.wah,cnt tahan man.being the make person means no air-con,cnt even feel the fan and long standing hrs.lucky today not many orders.if not,i think i'll faint or even make-make faint(buat-buat pengsan) on the make table itself.HAHAHAHA.ok,lame irma.

the other time i said i want to be thrifty on this 2 week's pay rite?last monday,i bought two long sleeve tops from Fox lah.all thanks to kiki.afta much contemplation,i finally decided to spend just a bit amount on those.yah,ok.so now im a happy girl.heee.:)) well,almost.

OMG.omg.

Exist's Mengintai Dari Tirai Kamar is on repeat mode.

irma dah jadi jiwang seyyyy.

ok,not.

im fine.

i am perfectly fine ok.

wahh.today like a lot to talk about ah.oklah.before i end my entry,below are outdated pictures from pei gen's bday celebration eons ago.

the girl in red.the bday girl.

irma: kiwak.and u noe wat?it was like this big ok!

farah: (listening intently) ehk?oh,ok2.uhuh.hahaha.

farah: ok2.eh,kau tau tk..

irma:(twirls hair) uhuh..

one snap before deciding on choice of food.

fish&co. is love yaw!

the foursome.

from left: bday girl,farah,yours truly,mirah.

ok.bestfriend photo-taking time.

and,lastly.i love this picture!

do me and farah even look the same?please,i beg to differ.ok,bye.

.rimas.

2007-09-12T12:44:00.000+08:00

good ~~morning~~ afternoon readers!

and i thought when i wake up today,everything will be alright.i guess not.so much for tomorrow is a new day.hah.

grandmama and kak rin are off to kampung and daddy's not around much.so,that means.i'll be the ~~maid~~ domestic worker of the house.pfft.hopefully for only a week.the little one can even say that she prefers not having a maid.ah,thanks ehk.nanti kau hurray-hurray,aku yang stress mangkuk kat sini.

im sorry.i still feel bad.i really grateful you came yesterday.ecstatic even.despite your ongoing prelims.but i duno what's wrong with me.maybe im just tired.or maybe i suddenly feel burdened with multiple responsibilities all at one time.or maybe i just hate the situation im in right now.

i don't like it that i have to be dependent on someone.i've always been independent on my own.and suddenly.i find it hard to lead a life without your presence.

i know you understand how i feel.i've changed,haven't i?im finding ways to cope with it.its only a month or so.surely i can go thru this.rite?if you can do it the last time,why can't i this time?

yes.i will wait for you.no matter how hard it is for me.i'll just have to hold on to the belief that everything will be over.soon.

i duno if you readers understood whatever i've written.but i just need a space to rant out my complications and uncertainties.

and afta this,i will continue with what is becoming a mundane routine for me.

and just when i thought i could i get what i've always wanted.

everything seems so bleak.

yet,again.

.felt deprivation.

2007-09-10T13:44:00.000+08:00

my days are now filled with
work ( i have voiced out my resignation ok)
and dikir trainings ( once a week,but still).
other than that,
i'll just rot at home.

ohmy.
i have yet to start reading
jodi picoult's second glance.
i can't be bothered i guess.

i want to go shopping.
but.
i think i'll have to be more thrifty.
for now.

if starbucks doesnt call me by tomorrow
i'll take the spinelli one.
i just hope they still have a place for me.

ramadhan's coming.
like,sooonnn.
i miss terawih sessions with the family.
but,i guess
thangs have changed,yeah.

oh,and lastly..

aku ingin kamu.